Well, yesterday I was just making peace with the idea of me marrying next year when Suresh just told me "don't tell everyone, still my parents have to meet you and like you". Then I asked "if they don't, does it mean we won't marry?". He replied "yes, but it will be delayed".
Oh my God. That coming from the person who came up with the idea of marrying next year. The same who said I was not excited enough.
See, maybe that's why I'm not excited enough. I told him he was confusing me and he said we will have to talk all this through and of course reassuring me the plans are still there, etc etc.
I don't know what to say or think. I guess I was happier 2 weeks ago when none of this had happened and we were just boyfriend and girlfriend living apart.
Then we came up with the scariest part of meeting the in-laws. We agreed that maybe the best thing to do would be to make a quick visit some time next year to India to introduce me as the girlfriend, get to know better and sightsee a little (for me!).
It sounds ok, but I am still scared. A part of me still wants to please everyone and I want them to like me of course. But another part of me warns me to be myself even if they don't agree with what I am.
And then I know this is very important for him and that we are going to Mexico in a few weeks and he will have to endure something similar from my family and friends. But also I remember my in-laws culture is more different to me than Suresh's to my parents.
Damn.. so many things to take into account. I guess when we feel in love, we never thought of all this.
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1 comment:
Can't help it, gotta post! ;)
My hubby is half rumanian (and an only child!) and my relationship with tha inlaws has come a veerrrryyy long way.
The Rumanian and the Mexican culture have so much in common that if he was 100% Rumanian and I was 100% Mexican you wouldn't have been able to tell the difference. But it so happens that I'm half american and he's half french... so you got a 4 way culture dilemma!
Add to the mix different religions, a pretty determined and independent girl (me :D) and mighty overprotecting inlaws (them :s) and you got yourself room for trouble.
But it has gotten insanely better over the years. I realize now that the important thing is :
A) Both of you have to be 100% in sync with the idea that it's first and foremost YOU AND HIM and only then comes family, friends, siblings, etc.
B) NEVER accept to do something you do not approve just to avoid "problems" with the inlaws. The more honest you are with them from the very beginning the easier it will be for them to accept and respect you and what you represent to their son.
I'm not telling you all of this in preparation to meeting your inlaws, on the contrary! My bet is that it'll be absolutely ok...
But I realize now that my relationship with my PIL is great because they know that I am very capable of telling them "no damn way" if I don't agree... ;) and I think it's wisdom that should be imparted... :)
Fned.
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