Approval not yet

Well, yesterday I was just making peace with the idea of me marrying next year when Suresh just told me "don't tell everyone, still my parents have to meet you and like you". Then I asked "if they don't, does it mean we won't marry?". He replied "yes, but it will be delayed".

Oh my God. That coming from the person who came up with the idea of marrying next year. The same who said I was not excited enough.

See, maybe that's why I'm not excited enough. I told him he was confusing me and he said we will have to talk all this through and of course reassuring me the plans are still there, etc etc.

I don't know what to say or think. I guess I was happier 2 weeks ago when none of this had happened and we were just boyfriend and girlfriend living apart.

Then we came up with the scariest part of meeting the in-laws. We agreed that maybe the best thing to do would be to make a quick visit some time next year to India to introduce me as the girlfriend, get to know better and sightsee a little (for me!).

It sounds ok, but I am still scared. A part of me still wants to please everyone and I want them to like me of course. But another part of me warns me to be myself even if they don't agree with what I am.

And then I know this is very important for him and that we are going to Mexico in a few weeks and he will have to endure something similar from my family and friends. But also I remember my in-laws culture is more different to me than Suresh's to my parents.

Damn.. so many things to take into account. I guess when we feel in love, we never thought of all this.