Tin cut

I received a call yesterday from the agency that manages the flat I am renting. They said that they needed to come to the flat and make a check on it. I felt a little invaded and then remembered it was stipulated in the contract just because the landlord lives in Australia and he can't come and check the state of his flat.
I think they only want to check if everything still works or if I have been smoking or denting the floors and walls but I panicked.
Not that I have done major damage in the flat, it's just that the kitchen is not as tidy as maybe the owner would want.
So this morning I took out the rubbish I had been collecting. I forgot I had used a can this week and just placed it uncarefully at the top of the bag. When I tried to place the bag in the big communal container, I cut myself with the famous can.
I just felt a pinch but as I kept walking under the heavy rain, I saw a stream of blood running down my hand. It was quite scary.
The cut was in the left hand palm and it's v-shaped and small but deep.
I decided to keep walking (it was already past 9 which is my entrance time) and I stopped at one of the convenience stores called McColls which is nothing like the thousands of Oxxos in Mexico.
I bought a whole pack of plasters. The clerk was asian (I guess chinese) and didn't speak much English, but when she saw my hand bleeding, she offered some tissue (who knows the procedence) and wished me to get better.
When I arrived in the office, and cleaned it properly, I called my bf (aka boyfriend) and told him what happened.
He scared me. He said I should contact my GP and ask for a tetanus shot. To be honest I didn't even think of it. In Mexico it would have jumped to my mind immediately but here I swear it didn't come to my mind.
Anyway, I called and told me since I don't remember when was my last shot and I was living in a foreign country (where they didn't have records nor trust them) I should get the shot.
Tomorrow I had an appointment with my GP anyway to get a prescription of asthma inhalers and contraceptive. I also had my hopes on getting a flu shot* but apparently I will leave with more than that.
In the meantime, my left hand hurts and suddenly the whole arm hurts and feels numb.. hope everything is ok.


* Flu shot is not compulsory. It's authorised only to certain high risk groups wich are elderly and asthmatic among others.

Dance or warm at home

Since recently I have started to go to dancing classes on Mondays. It is contemporary and jazz dance. I had taken contemporary dance before when I was in Uni a long time ago.
I enjoy the class although I am not as flexible or graceful as before.

But yesterday I felt really bad. I had a quarrel with Suresh (yes, regarding future, parents, marriage) and I couldn't make myself go.

I should have gone to my class. In Mexico I was quite active and had tennis classes, French, Italian, gym, many activities, but here I have to convince myself to leave home and go.

I tell myself it's the weather which has been cold and rainy, but I think it's more than that. Now that November is here and feels already like winter, there hasn't been sunshine and it's getting dark very early. They call it seasonal affective disorder (SAD) or winter depression. These seasonal mood variations are believed to be related to light and one of the symptoms is you may not feel depressed, but rather lack energy to perform everyday activities.

That's me. I feel extra lazy this time of the year and at 5 PM since it's dark outside I'd rather go home, have a soup and read under the duvet (who am I kidding? I meant watch TV).

Today I am supposed to go to the gym but that requires the extra effort to walk 20 minutes back home. If it's raining and cold I know I won't go. What can I do to push myself to go?

By the way the time spent at home last evening was not all lost. I talked to my dear Suresh and we made up so we are now like "bread and butter" as Forrest Gump used to say in the spanish version.

Sneeze

I think I caught a cold when I was in Stoke. Suresh had one and the weather was really bad. Worse than in Aberdeen if I may say.
I have to take extra care because my colds can develop to asthma and I definitely don't want that to happen.
I have been sneezing a lot. That reminds me of a difference in attitude while sneezing between Mexico and the UK.
In Mexico, if you sneeze, people around you will always say: "Salud" meaning "Bless you", even strangers feel compelled to wish you "Salud". You of course, being well brought up have to say "Thank you" as soon as you can, and the person next to you will say "You're welcome".
Isn't it nice?
But in the UK if you sneeze, people around you expect you to say "Excuse me" or "Pardon me" like it's your fault you are sneezing and troubling them. And no one give a damn about your health status.
The first times I sneezed in public I felt really bad that no one around even tried to say "Bless you". Now I am relieved I don't have to say it to strangers in buses. But I will never say "Excuse me". I still believe it's not my fault ot something I do in purpose.

Stoke

I am right now in Stoke-on-Trent with my dear boyfriend. I haven't told him about my blog so I am writing while he is out in the car.
As my mind is already in Mexico, I am planning ahead. This time will be the last time I visit my boyfriend before going on our holiday so I decided to take my medium sized bag full of my summer clothes I plan to wear in Mexico.
People in my office were shocked and a little amused that I was taking such a big bag for a short weekend trip.
Here is the explanation. Domestic flights within the UK only allow 1 checked bag of 20 kg, especially in the low cost airlines as bmi baby I always take. Our flight for Mexico departs from Birmingham and they allow us 2 bags of 23 kgs for both of us. So I decided to take a bag full of clothes this time and on the 18th December I will bring my other bag full of presents.
Excessive? Obsessive? Too much free time to think about all this?
Maybe yes to all.

Suresh and I have spent a very nice time together. He came to the airport to pick me up, for the first time since we got a car, having to drive 1 hour from his town to Birmingham. It was just great to see him and we arrived home in less time than if I had taken the train and taxi.

This nice gesture stopped me from taking the train. Trains.... There are no trains in Mexico so I had a romantic idea of what trains were like.
There is a famous song that says "viajar a tu lado en el tren, un sueño dificil de creer" which can be translated as "to travel next to you on a train, a dream hard to believe".

In soon found out that trains are not exactly that romantic. They can be packed at peak times, there can be nasty people around, timings are not very exact, they can be dirty, train stations are full of stairs (in case you have to change trains) and they are expensive.

I would rather take my ADO first class coach as in Mexico. Coach is the name they give here to the buses that take you to other cities, but I will talk about them later.

The weekend was lovely. We did some shopping, chose a satnav, went to the movies and he took me to the airport yesterday. Miss him so much already.

Culture shock

I found a great article defining culture shock that all we expats have experienced in some degree.
http://edweb.sdsu.edu/people/CGuanipa/cultshok.htm

Extract:

The term, culture shock, was introduced for the first time in 1958 to describe the anxiety produced when a person moves to a completely new environment. This term expresses the lack of direction, the feeling of not knowing what to do or how to do things in a new environment, and not knowing what is appropriate or inappropriate. The feeling of culture shock generally sets in after the first few weeks of coming to a new place.

Symptoms:
Sadness, loneliness, melancholy
Preoccupation with health
Aches, pains, and allergies
Insomnia, desire to sleep too much or too little
Changes in temperament, depression, feeling vulnerable, feeling powerless
Identifying with the old culture or idealizing the old country
Loss of identity
Trying too hard to absorb everything in the new culture or country
Lack of confidence
Feelings of inadequacy or insecurity
Developing stereotypes about the new culture
Longing for family
Feelings of being lost, overlooked, exploited or abused

[Full article can be found in the link above]

Which of those have you felt or still feel while living away?

English class

I have been learning English since I remember.
English is everywhere. In science, computers, music, TV. If you know English you have an advantage above others.
In Mexico, unlike some people might believe, English is not taught as thoroughly as in other parts of the world and a big part of the population only remember "pollito- chicken, gallina-hen, lapiz-pencil y pluma-pen".
I was lucky enough that at a very young age (3 years old), my parents had the vision of sending me to a bilingual school. When things went rough and we had to move to another city (my dear Villahermosa), I still had the chance to go to a schoool that taught English.
I always ended up in the advanced levels and I felt quite confident in my English knowledge. So much that when I finished University, my first job was as an English teacher in an EFL school.
All in all I felt I had it all sorted.

But oh my God. When I came the first time to the UK to my cousin's wedding (not the stressed one but her sister), I realised my English was not great but I felt I could cope with it.
I still remember the first time I went through Immigration in Heathrow T4. The officer had a turbant and a beard (I know now he must have been Sikh) and was very firm and serious. Very scary sight and when he asked what I intended to do in the UK I froze since I couldn't understand a word until he repeated it slowly.

The total disillusion came when I studied in Manchester. All my class mates were foreigners but most of them had studied their degree in English. In Thailand, Malaysia, India, Nigeria, they all were fluent not only in the colloquial everyday English, but also in the technical found-in-books language. Unlike me who had studied the degree 5 years previously and of course in Spanish!

I struggled a lot. I noticed mexican students came up with the same mistakes and even a slight american accent they dislike here.
I couldn't understand people in the street, clerks in shops, staff in the Uni, bus drivers, etc. It's not that I was completely lost, but had to pay extra effort in listening and guessing what they said. My bf finds it funny when we see a movie and they say a joke, then I laugh and when he asks me what they said, I say I don't know. He tells me: "how can you laugh then". Just because in my everyday life here I am used to not catching 100% of what people say and fill in the blanks according to the context.

The greatest test of all has been to have a relationship in English. My English has improved greatly thanks to Suresh in vocabulary, expressions, fluency, pronunciation and to think in English.
This is what teachers always say:
When you see :)
Your mind should go to "smile"
Instead to "sonrisa" and a mental translation to end up with "smile"
Or something like that.

In the end, I know I need to improve my English. My accent is still noticeable and sometimes I can't find the right words to say. That's why I am taking English classes every Thursday in the University of Aberdeen with the plan on taking the CAE from the UCLES.

Many people has told me they don't see a point on me taking these classes but I love them. I know most of the grammar (since I used to teach it) but to be taught by a native speaker is priceless and to relate to people from different nationalities brings a nice touch in my life. Besides, I really don't know everything so every class is a new discovery, a new understanding and new knowledge.

Weight Watchers

There have been some times in the past when I tried to lose weight. When I was younger it seemed easier to shed off the excess kilos. But since I moved to the UK it has been difficult.

Why? For many reasons.
The first one, living on my own and cooking on my own. I realised that cooking when you don't have skills take way longer than other people and when you are trying to get a master degree in a year, you have little time to even take showers, let alone plan your meals.

Second, having no scholarship and not being rich makes you want to stretch your money and eat whatever is available or cheaper.

Then, linked with the previous one, the need to have a part-time job in a greasy fast food joint such as KFC was a blessing in disguise. I didn't have to worry about food on weekends but the no control in the possible combinations of burgers, chicken pieces, hot wings, popcorn etc etc, increased my weight to numbers I had never seen before.
NOTE: KFC in the UK doesn't make my favourite side dish: Mashed potatoes.

Finally, in the UK high street shops have larger sizes. According to my empiric experience, a size in Mexico would relate to UK by adding one.
When I arrived in 2004 I was a size 13 in Mexico. I was in the upper end of buying normal young modern clothes. If I had increased one size, I would have had to start buying clothes in the old ladies section. But here in the UK I was a size 12-14 which was not the highest in my favourite stores. It made me complacent and when I reached a size 16, I wasn't really bothered. Then my jeans had a better fit if I bought a size 18. That's when I felt it was too much and I couldn't bear be a size 20 (inexistent in Mexico) so I decided to join a structured program to lose weight.

Who hasn't heard of WW. It's everywhere and the ads here run all the time. I gave it a chance and chose the Core Plan which seemed easier. You just eat 3 meals of frsh home cooked food from a list of permitted ingredients, eating until you are full, being able to snack on fruit and veg and having 21 points (based on calories and fat content) to spend in whatever you wanted in a week.
Seemed to good to be true.

The truth is I have stuck to it and have lost 15 pounds in 8 weeks. It is a great victory.

I love the fact that weight here is measured in stones instead of kilos. One stone is 14 pounds and losing 1 or 2 pounds every week seems better than losing 450 or 900 grams. Besides, having a weight of 13 stones doesn't sound as bad as 80 something kilos. Ooops said too much.

Way to go. Let's hope Xmas in Mexico won't spoil my weight loss too much.

Stress

My cousin in Mexico City just left the hospital. She had been there for 6 days due to stress.
It sounds like an invented disease for the rich but it is real.
She started feeling dizzy at all times, not able to even turn her head.
The day she went to hospital, she had been throwing up non stop.
Her blood pressure was way too low and dehydrated.
She had to get suero, valium and lots of rest to heal her.
Now she is at home feeling better, although a little worried about her job which started this whole thing.

I understand her very well. I was living in Mexico City in 2006 and a few weeks before I took the plane to my new job in Aberdeen, I fell ill.
I had an unbearable headache that couldn't be improved by anything.
One day I was getting ready to go to work and my head started pounding. I told myself I would lay down for a while before work but that was the last thing I remember.
I got up 4 hours later having unvoluntarily relieved my sphincters on my beautiful white couch.
I tried getting up but my legs were wobbly and fell on the floor where I passed out again for 3 more hours.
I regained consciousness and could finally reached the phone. My coworkers came home extremely worried about my dissappearance and took me to the doctor.
The doctor thought I was on drugs, but after assessing me, he said I had stress and depression.

How can that be? I feel well. Yes I miss the love of my life whom I haven't seen in 7 months. Yes I have to get rid of all the furniture I am still paying. Yes I am moving and starting my life in another country.

Well, I got better by getting my mom to visit, helped with packing, spending a nice last week in my hometown Villahermosa and finally meeting my dear Suresh in the UK. Also aided by antidepressants and blood pressure reducers.

So I know first hand stress is real and can happen without you even notice as well as depression.

Please be aware of symptoms like headaches, dizziness and feeling of not being able to finish things.

Work news

Regarding work, I just found out that my colleague Etienne, who has been unhappy in the office more than I, has received a job offer from the same company I did. He will take it of course and we will work there together next year.

He was offered a contract position which I learned recently means 2 things:
- He will earn by the hour making it a huge amount of money.
- Everyone would rather be on contract than a permanent position.

I was offered a contract position at the beginning but hesitated because I am a foreigner and would feel safer with a work permit and a permanent position. They offered me 120,000£ p.a. which is a LOT.

That alone would have made me take it but the little mexican in me said:
"Contract positions are the first to go redundant".
"When they realise you are not good enough, they will give you the sack".
"You don't deserve that much money".

My first job in Mexico was a month by month contract position called "de honorarios". It was not continuous and at the end of the year we all were nervous for our luck the following year. Once I worked for 3 weeks just to be told my project didn't come through so I wouldn't be paid for that time and would be called when needed again (3 weeks later).
That experience was terrifying enough as to always prefer being staff.

I know things are different here in the UK but my conscience still feels uneasy in cases like these.

All in all I will be happy Etienne will start in the new company with me. He is French so all these work permit problems don't affect him.

I have just received a proposition to go to Perth Australia for a month to do a FA project. I had to decline of course since I need my passport and I will go to Mexico soon. If only it had happened a month ago..

Approval not yet

Well, yesterday I was just making peace with the idea of me marrying next year when Suresh just told me "don't tell everyone, still my parents have to meet you and like you". Then I asked "if they don't, does it mean we won't marry?". He replied "yes, but it will be delayed".

Oh my God. That coming from the person who came up with the idea of marrying next year. The same who said I was not excited enough.

See, maybe that's why I'm not excited enough. I told him he was confusing me and he said we will have to talk all this through and of course reassuring me the plans are still there, etc etc.

I don't know what to say or think. I guess I was happier 2 weeks ago when none of this had happened and we were just boyfriend and girlfriend living apart.

Then we came up with the scariest part of meeting the in-laws. We agreed that maybe the best thing to do would be to make a quick visit some time next year to India to introduce me as the girlfriend, get to know better and sightsee a little (for me!).

It sounds ok, but I am still scared. A part of me still wants to please everyone and I want them to like me of course. But another part of me warns me to be myself even if they don't agree with what I am.

And then I know this is very important for him and that we are going to Mexico in a few weeks and he will have to endure something similar from my family and friends. But also I remember my in-laws culture is more different to me than Suresh's to my parents.

Damn.. so many things to take into account. I guess when we feel in love, we never thought of all this.

Reality crap

I love TV. I really enjoy watching telly. When I arrived in this country I was told I had to pay a TV licence of £135.50 a year (3,100 MXN give or take). What a country that charges for owning a TV. Programming must be really great.
Well, sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. As I can see almost anything, I get entertained by it.
There are a number of american shows I loved in Mexico and can see here as well.
But the latest thing is the reality show which is exploited to the 'n' power. Some are american and some are british origin but they are quite funny and might actually work in Mexico.

Secret Millionaire. In this show, a millionaire spends a week in a poor part of the country trying to relate to people in need and in the end, he/she decides to donate some money to people who might need more help.
The concept is novel at least for me and I cry at the end of every episode.
I don't know if it would work in Mexico since there are not many millionaires and I doubt any of them will accept to spend even a few hours in the poorest areas in the country.

SuperNanny. What is there not to love? Children here don't seem to be well behaved and Nanny Jo Frost visits a different family every week with the naughtiest children and tries to make them behave. I have seen children hitting parents and siblings, swearing, kicking, breaking stuff, making tantrums and not being punished. They say this show is the best contraceptive. Children in Mexico in my time would never behave like that.

The Restaurant. Oooh I loved this one. 8 couples had a dream of owning a restaurant and enter this contest to become a partner to one famous restaurateur. Who hasn't dreamt of having their own restaurant? It shows how difficult is to attract customers, keep quality and put a happy face. It's over but I really enjoyed it.

Property ladder. Sarah Beeney is a genious. This show takes advantage of the boom in the real estate market and increase in prices so many people have taken property development as a career. Esentially, they buy a run down flat or house and make renovations to increase their selling price. It is better than it sounds since so many people make mistakes and want to have their own way.

Beauty and the geek. This is lame lame and apparently american. A bunch of socially impaired geeks is paired with a similar bunch of dumb blondes (in spirit) and go through many tests to overcome their flaws. It is stereotypical and stupid but it's the only thing on Monday night. I could always turn the TV off.. I know..

Trip to Mex

Next month, on the 18th to be precise, Suresh and I are going to Mexico for Xmas holiday. It is the first time for him and we are quite excited.
I will take him first to Mexico City where I was born and had a job before coming to Aberdeen. Then we are going to Villahermosa my hometown or whatever is left of it, and we will end our trip in Cancun to relax and unwind and to ennnnjoy.
He has asked me many times how different it will be to the UK and I have problems remembering exactly what he can find interesting and/or shocking.
I will post these issues as I remember or notice!

DRINK.
It is no secret that Scotland is high in binge drinking. That it seems perfectly normal for young (and not so young) people to get really pissed to the point of not remembering and getting sick on the streets which I find the most disgusting sight.
To UK's favour I can say that if a person knows they will drink, they will never attempt to drive at the same time.
In Mexico, as I remember, people do drink but getting really drunk is stupid and it shows you don't know how to drink. Girls who drink will never be left alone by male or female friends. Everyone will make sure everyone arrives home safe, even if that means to drive under the effect which for many it means they can drive better (insanely stupid).
Here in Aberdeen, people in my office are too quiet. We hardly ever speak more than 2 words on a single day, but when we go out to have a pint, they become your best friends. Of course, the next Monday they go back to not talking and pretend the bonding never happened. So confusing!

I am looking forward to Suresh knowing how I grew up and maybe understand me a little better.

Indian approval

I have an indian boyfriend. I have never loved anyone the way I love him. I feel I can be myself around him and trust him blindly. I tell him everything and decide things together. He is a great listener as well and shares everything with me. He lives in Stoke-on-Trent but we meet regularly and phone each other everyday for hours. We have a nice happy life together in a neutral country where we both are foreigners.
But.. and here is the but, he is indian. This means that he has a heavy baggage regarding his family.
I never knew how hard it was for him when we started going out together. Indians are used to having arranged marriages and if not arranged, they seek their parents approval.
Since I am foreigner, raised as a catholic (but not quite practicing), non vegetarian and older than him, I could not really be called a catch (for them).
To know that he is enjoying his life lying to his parents and without their approval was killing Suresh*.
But something happened last week. After finishing some work in Sakhalin Russia, he decided to stop by his hometown in India for the wedding of a friend. Then I don't know how, he gathered the courage and told his mom he was in love with me. Apparently they agreed and want me to visit next year and marry as soon as possible.
My boyfriend is ecstatic. I am happy as well, but this all has been too sudden. He says we should marry next summer which feels too soon. And the scariest part is he plans his parents move in with us eventually.
I know of this tradition of the eldest son to take care of the parents till death, but I still have to make peace with that idea which will not happen tomorrow of course, but I have seen enough Everybody Loves Raymond to know what I can expect.
Suresh feels I am not as excited as he is with the news. I am very happy indeed, but we do have a life here and our plans should follow accordingly. I am a bit scared to be honest.
I am meeting him this weekend in his city and we will be able to talk.

*Not his real name but let's call him Suresh as the character in Heroes.

New job

I have been idle in the office lately. I am an engineer and work in a consultancy firm.
I haven't had a decent project in months and most of the time I spend it on the internet.
It was relaxing at the beginning but I have reached a point when I am completely bored and feel my career is going nowhere.
One day I uploaded my CV to a website called oilcareers and started receiving phone calls from companies and agents. One of them arranged an interview with the best consultancy firm here in Aberdeen. I didn't do as great as I would have liked but they made me a job offer!
I accepted of course and will start working next year. I have to wait for my work permit and giving notice in my current job.
My family back in Mexico is a little worried. In Mexico, if you are lucky enough to have a permanent position in a stable company, you would never even think of changing your job.
I still find it amazing that here you can change jobs so easily. That you can look for better conditions, better salary, better career development, and moving to a new job is not so frowned upon.
People still wonder why I left my stable job in Mexico. Life here is more challenging but more rewarding.
I am thrilled but also nervous.. what if I am not really that good? What if they realise it has been a mistake?

Villahermosa floods

My hometown is Villahermosa in Tabasco, Mexico. It means "beautiful village" and it certainly is.
Well, the last 2 weeks, my city has lived the worst nightmare we can remember.
There was a massive flooding in the city due to heavy reains and bad management of a hydroelectric dam nearby.
There haven't been many casualties, in fact the government claims there are zero, but the material losses of homes and businesses are beyond calculation.
The city centre is destroyed and many people have lost everything, furniture, clothes, documents..
The water level is going down but the smell of death animals, rubbish and drainage is unbearable.
The house where my family lives was unaffected but my city is rebuilding it self.

Introduction

I thought of starting my new blog with an introduction. My name is Anilú (which is pronounced A-nee-loo with stress in the last sylable). I am from Tabasco, Mexico and lived at my parents' house until I was 27. I studied then a master degree in Manchester, UK where I met the love of my life who is indian and 4 years my junior. After trying to live apart in our respective countries, we decided to get together again. I found a job in Aberdeen and he found one in the West Midlands in England.
Things have gone smooothly ever since.